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Yeah, and she said I can draw on it and she let me draw on
hers.
Really? One of her eyebrows climbed a bit higher.
I held up my cast. He s a great artist.
I joined her next to the bed and pointed out the highlights of
the mural.
That s awesome. She started laughing when she saw the
color on my arm and the sheets.
Wes and I sat next to the bed. Somehow, we ended up holding
hands. Theo went on to update Wes on every detail of the day before
he fell back asleep. We were as alone as we were going to get.
Thanks for being here for him, Wes said.
I was happy to do it. There was nothing else for me to do so
I said, I guess I ll go now.
Yeah. She wouldn t make eye contact again. All right. I
guess I ll see you later.
I wasn t sure what that meant so I left.
V'
It got cold once the sun went down and it had been down a
while. I didn t want to go back inside for a sweatshirt. I had the night
sky and the fragmented thoughts wandering through my head, which
was everything I needed. One thing was missing, but her absence
was becoming familiar, or at least I told myself that. Calling Ollie or
Lauren didn t seem like it would comfort me. I didn t want to hear
another woman s voice. I leaned back against the slight incline of
my roof and stared at the stars. I could barely see them the moon
was so bright. The day felt like it had been a tragedy. I knew Theo
would be just fine, but all that waiting in a sterile room was killer.
Just past midnight, a car drove down the street and stopped in front
of my house. It was Wes.
" 184 "
SEX AND SKATEBOARDS
Hey, she called. Her body was wedged between the car and
the open door like she was afraid to get all the way out. You feel
like going for a drive? It was a peace offering.
Sure, I ll be down in a sec. I missed her. I couldn t help it. I
knew I d feel better, calmer, if I could just be next to her.
When I closed the front door behind me, Wes already had the
engine running. I pulled my sweatshirt over my head then slid into
the passenger seat.
We didn t say anything once Wes started driving. It didn t take
long for me to figure out where we were going, her secluded little
beach. The moon hung low and heavy on the horizon to the east. It
was full and white and took up half the sky.
When we parked, Wes grabbed a bottle of wine from behind
her seat and led me down the path to the water. It was so damn dark
in the trees I don t know how she got us through them. We ended
up on the sliver of beach in a wash of silver-blue moonlight. We
sat in the sand and opened the bottle of wine with a pocketknife.
Wes took a swig then handed me the bottle. It made me feel like a
teenager sitting there in the sand passing back and forth a bottle of
surprisingly good wine. Her breathing was light and I would have
thought she had fallen asleep if not for her periodically taking the
wine and drinking.
I m in love with you, you know? Her tone was so flippant
that she could have been discussing the weather.
So you ve said, Wes. I tried to match her tone. It didn t work.
It just came out sad.
I ve been trying to figure out a way to tell you all week. She
looked at me, drank some wine, looked at the sky. I don t need you
to change. And I don t want you to leave. But I couldn t think of a
way to make you believe me. I ve been kind of a bitch.
I wasn t sure what the deal was with her little monologue. I
thought I was the bitch.
I thought about getting a tattoo, she added conversationally.
But I didn t think you would appreciate that.
We stared at the ocean. Even though the view was amazing, the
image fell flat for me. I drank some wine and prayed for warmth.
" 185 "
ASHLEY BARTLETT
So I had this made this morning. Wes pulled a key out of
her pocket. I wasn t sure about it. Would it be fair to T? He s been
through a lot. She started flipping the key between her fingers. Was
she saying what I thought she was saying? But when I got him
home from the hospital tonight I noticed something. She looked
directly at me. His cast was green. His favorite color is red. But he
chose green.
Hey, my cast was green.
Oh. My cast was green. I m slow. I felt the grin spread across
my face and I could hear her smiling too. Yes, I could hear when
she smiled.
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