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matchmaker. If this works out, Rob will be out of my
hair forever.
And if it doesn t? Phil said.
We ll worry about that later, Helen said.
Can I at least see this guy? Phil asked.
Sure. He should be passing by this window any min
ute. He s meeting his date by the pool.
Helen turned off the lights and cracked the mini-
blinds.They waited in the dark. Phil tickled her neck and
held her close. Helen, I love you, he whispered in her
ear. I don t want you to live on the run anymore. Let
me help you. This is what I do for a living.
Helen heard footsteps on the concrete walkway.
Shush, she said. It s him.
Phil peeked out the window. Helen did, too. The man
who d ruined her old life was strolling down the side
walk, whistling out of tune.
That s Rob?
Helen nodded.
Phil gave a harsh laugh. You married that dork?
$)"15&3
e s bald, Phil said.
He is not, Helen said. His hair s just a lit
Htle thin on top.
A little thin? Phil said. His hair s a little thin the
way Mr. Clean is a little bald.
If Rob reached through that window, he could touch
me, Helen thought. It was creepy that her ex was so close.
He d give anything to lay hands on me, and I m within
his reach. Rob ambled by her apartment unaware.
Phil and Helen crouched below the windowsill, argu
ing in whispers.
He looks like an elf, Phil said. His ears are pointed.
They are not, Helen said. Rob is no movie star,
but that s the secret of his success. Men like him be
cause they think he isn t a threat. They let him hang
around with their wives because they see him as safe.
Women think he s cute. He makes them laugh. You d be
surprised how many women would rather have a good
laugh than a good body.
In my case, they get both, Phil said.
Helen was in no mood for jokes. Everyone under
estimates Rob. A woman starts out treating him like a
brother, and the next thing she knows she s committing
incest.
142 ] Elaine Viets
Oh, come on, Phil said. You make him sound like
a chick magnet. He has a potbelly.
Only a little one, Helen said.
Why are you defending him? Phil said.
Why am I? Helen wondered. She didn t care about
Rob. But she couldn t stand that Phil thought she was
a fool for loving Rob. She wanted him to see Rob s
attraction.
Look at that loser, Phil said. This is the man you ve
been running from? He couldn t find the beer at a Super
Bowl party.
Shut up, Rob, Helen said.
Rob? Phil said.
I mean Phil, Helen said.
Helen peeked out the window again. She could see
her ex-husband sitting by the pool, charming Margery,
while she and Phil hissed at each other like caged snakes.
Rob always left unhappy couples in his wake.
I admit I m upset at seeing him, Helen said. But
there s no need for us to argue. I thought we d settled
this. Rob is meeting Margery s rich friend tonight. Hope
fully they ll like each other and get married.
Helen, that s a ridiculous plan. What intelligent
woman would marry that feeb?
I did, Helen said.
You were young, he said. It wasn t your fault.
I m so glad you forgive me, Helen said. But I was
forty years old when I walked out on Rob.
I didn t mean it that way, Phil said.
Which way did you mean it? Helen said.
Phil finally seemed to realize he d been tactless.
Helen, I will do anything to help you.Anything. Let me
take care of this guy for you.
If Phil had taken Helen in his arms then, she might
have said yes. Instead he gave her an annoying smirk and
said, Besides, how hard can it be? He looks clueless.
I warned you, don t underestimate him, Helen said.
Rob tracked me to the Coronado. He won t go away. He
Murder with Reservations ] 143
needs money in the worst way. He s bankrupt if he can t
work out some sort of settlement with me.That s why Mar
gery is trying to fix him up with Marcella. If he s busy chas
ing her money, he won t try to get the little bit I earn.
Why would Margery do that? Phil asked.
Because she cares about me.
I know that, Phil said. Why would she do that to
Marcella?
She says Marcella is older and can take care of
herself.
She s probably smarter about men.
He did it again. He treated her like a moron. Hot
anger flared up in Helen. What did you say?
I m sorry, Helen, Phil said, but he didn t sound
sorry. I can t believe you let this twerp ruin your life.
How could you give him so much power?
I didn t give him any power. The court did, Helen
said.
You should have stayed and fought. Thanks to Rob,
you re working way below your capacity.
He did me a favor, Helen said. If Rob disappeared
tomorrow, I still wouldn t go back to a corporation.
I didn t say you had to work for IBM, Phil said.
But you don t have to be a hotel maid, either.
What s wrong with making an honest living? Helen
asked.
Nothing. But ask yourself: Do your coworkers have
your education? People don t do hard labor unless they
can t get easier jobs. Do you think the maids work those
jobs so their children can clean hotels? They don t want
their kids to have their life. You have a college degree,
Helen. You can use your mind. You don t have to break
your back.
I like the exercise, Helen said. I hate panty hose,
memos and meetings. I d rather break my back making
beds than sit through one more brainstorming session.
I m free of the corporate rat race. I like my new life. I
love you. I wish you would try to understand me.
144 ] Elaine Viets
I wish I could understand you, Phil said. But I m
not sure that s possible. I think I d better leave before I
say something worse.
He kissed her on the forehead, as if she were an old
woman, and slipped out the door. Phil left with hardly
a sound. Helen sat alone in her living room in her sexy
silk robe, feeling foolish and angry. She threw the sofa
pillows at the door, followed by the newspapers and
magazines on the coffee table. She thought of throwing
something breakable, but she didn t want to lose her se
curity deposit. Besides, she loved the fifties furniture the
turquoise Barcalounger, the lamps shaped like nuclear
reactors, the boomerang coffee table.
In her old life she would have sneered at it as tacky.
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