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risk that devastating possibility." In the meantime, while we
subconsciously send ourselves that negative message, we're
faced with the reality that perfection is impossible. Our self-
discipline, then, suffers a defeat before we even begin our task.
Consequently, regardless of our chosen task, we fight ourselves
every step of the way: "If I can't do it perfectly, then I really
don't want to do it at all." This inner tug-of-war will shadow our
every attempt to exercise self-discipline until we replace our
subconscious fear of mediocrity with a realistic, rational point of
view: Chasing perfection is like chasing the fountain of youth
it's a fool's mission. Immediately divorce your self-esteem from
perfectionism.
Remember: None of us is perfect; nothing we do is perfect.
We're all human; perfection is the domain of the Gods.
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Self-Discipline in 10 days
Exercise #4 - Exploring Fear of Mediocrity
The following exercise is designed to help you discover your
hidden concerns and emotions regarding fear of mediocrity.
On a sheet of paper you are going to explore three past
experiences in which you were held back by a fear of mediocrity.
The only rule here requires that in these situations or events, your
course of action was based on a fear of not doing something well
enough.
Take your three experiences from your earliest memories.
Explore your childhood, but you need to know that this particular
fear grows stronger with age. So you might want also to explore
your teen years. Be specific. Name names. This will give you an
awareness about how, when, and where your attitudes and beliefs
about being mediocre originated.
Note: Spend no more than fifteen minutes on this exercise.
Hyde will be peering over your shoulder and giving you a load
of reasons to simply think about it rather than write it. Don't
listen to Hyde!
As you write take notice of yourself both physically and
emotionally. Physically: Do you clench your teeth? Do any of
your muscles tighten? Your stomach muscles? Neck muscles?
Do you notice any changes in your breathing rhythm? Faster?
Shallower? Emotionally: Do you re-experience the hurt? Do you
feel frightened? Angry? Hostile? Embarrassed?
Again, it is important that you take note of your reactions as
you complete each of the exercises throughout this self-discipline
program. Your reactions will give you valuable insight into how
much your current behavior is affected by the past experiences.
Start writing NOW
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F
9.
Day Five
Fear of Risks
Self-Discipline in 10 days
Fear of Risks
"Better to be safe than sorry," says a proverb that dug its way
deep into our inner-most being during childhood. For many of us
security and safety have become all. In areas where we have self-
discipline difficulties, we've gone beyond simply following the
old saying that advises us to "Look before you leap." In certain
areas of endeavor, many of us unfortunately shy away from
either looking or leaping. The unknown has come to be some-
thing we equate with danger. Like all the rest of our fears,
fear of risks operates undercover. Our only clue to its subtle
manipulation lies in its result on our lives: repetition that leads
to stagnation.
Many of us feel comfortable only in the presence of sameness,
things to which we've grown accustomed: same foods, same style
clothes, same friends, same recreation, same, same, same. Life
becomes a rut when we subconsciously come to view risks as
dangerous threats to our security rather than as opportunities for
growth. The only difference between a rut and a grave are the
dimensions. But how, you might ask, does fear of risks interfere
with the development of self-discipline?
I've found that persons who fear risks are persons who doubt
their ability to function successfully in unfamiliar situations. The
concept to focus on here is self-doubt. When self-doubt intrudes,
your self-discipline effort never receives the very important "I
can do it" message that supports its growth.
So while at first glance the connection between self-confidence
and self-discipline might appear to be a loose one, it actually is a
most important one. For as we learned previously, self-discipline
isn't an entity unto itself; it is a collective composed of many
diverse psychological forces which add up to a larger force, much
the way that a tornado is a collective of little breezes that create
an irrepressible wind by working together.
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9. Fear of Risks
Moreover, our self-discipline muscle gains strength only
through frequent exercise, exercise that leans heavily on
self-confidence. So, if we live our lives in a rut, our sense of self-
confidence falls into a state of atrophy, wasting away because
of insufficient use. We seldom become aware of its loss until a
situation arises in which we need it. We then discover that our
self-confidence is useless to serve us. Think of self-confidence as
you would a suit of clothes that you stored away years ago: You
haul it out expecting to slip into it and cut the same dashing
figure you did in bygone years, but you find that what hangs on
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